Finding Common Ground with Young & Old

How do we feel about the youth of today? One learned scholar stated, “I see no hope for the future of our people if they are dependent on the frivolous youth of today, for certainly all youth are reckless beyond words.” Another world-famous intellect said, “Children today are tyrants. They contradict their parents, gobble their food, and tyrannize their teachers.” According to these two quotes, I guess we should consider all Gen Zs as “zany.” Words associated with “zany” are bizarre, weird, erratic, uncontrolled, strange, foolish, and clownish. Ouch! Those aren’t exactly flattering words.

The first quote was made by Hesiod, an 8th-century B.C. Greek poet. The second quote was made by Socrates, who lived from 470–399 B.C. We have been complaining about the next generation for centuries. It seems to me that every “next generation” is considered “awful, not ready, unprepared, weird” in the eyes of the previous one. As the famous author George Orwell stated, “Every generation imagines itself to be more intelligent than the one that went before it, and wiser than the one that comes after it.”

According to the book Retiring the Generation Gap: How Employees Young & Old Can Find Common Ground by Jennifer J. Deal, “Generations now of working age … value essentially the same things.” Thousands of Boomers, Gen X, Millennials, and Gen Zs participated in the studies for her book, and here are the percentages of respondents who placed each of these values in their Top 10.

So, with such similarities, why is there sometimes conflict, resistance, animosity, hostility, dislike, distrust, struggle, and opposition between generations? One reason is clout—older people are desperately trying to maintain it, and younger people are trying to gain it. We must understand, appreciate, and address this. Animosity and hostility can also stem from the perception of being misunderstood or undervalued. Younger generations may feel that their ideas and contributions are dismissed, while older individuals might feel that their experience and wisdom are overlooked. To simplify that reason down to three words: “lack of respect.”

Addressing these issues requires fostering mutual recognition, where individuals are valued for their unique perspectives and contributions. When you value someone, you do so by showing respect. Age, race, education, experience, or wealth should have nothing to do with respect. Listening, empathy, compassion, concern, and kindness have everything to do with respect. You cannot buy or demand respect, and fear will never earn it. Respect can only be given—and most importantly, you must give it to get it.

That is the “aha” moment: you must give it to get it. When you start any interaction with respect, you are well on your way to finding harmony between generations, bridging gaps, and collaborating effectively.