Several years ago, I received a call from my agent telling me I had lost a speaking engagement to another speaker because of a word I used in my video demo tape. In the opinion of the client’s meeting planner, the word I had spoken was an “out dated” term. I guess by using this supposedly out-of-date word, I wasn’t on the cutting edge of the latest and greatest "fad" in management.
I try and look on advice this way; why experience the pain or frustration of doing something wrong, when someone can “ADVISE” me as to the best, quickest, and easiest way to do it. I am all for taking advantage of those who have done it before and I am happy to “go to school” on what they have learned. Following good advice is a great way to shorten your learning curve. It should also be noted: the best advice usually comes from those who have been through the most.
It took me years to learn: Sometimes the first to apologize wins. Conflict resolved. Tension removed. You feel better. Life goes on. The definition of an APOLOGY is: an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret and should not reference mitigating or extenuating circumstances. If you reference those mitigating or extenuating circumstances, you just flipped from an APOLOGY to giving an EXCUSE. And, as Benjamin Franklin said: “Never ruin an apology with an excuse.”
Would you believe that there is an organization in America today that lists 90 traits, characteristics, and soft-skills they want their employees to have? Well, there is. My first thought when I saw the list was … these folks are nuts! But, after reviewing the list, I changed my mind. All of them are doable and warrant our attention. Success is all about constantly becoming a better version of ourselves. But, what do we have to go by? How do we grade ourselves?
“A wise man once said nothing.” What a great quote we should all make note of. Silence is a powerful statement, a smart tactic, and many times, a wise choice. Meaningless silence is always better than speaking meaningless words. Maybe we should give some serious thought to the fact that we have a mouth that we can close and ears that we can’t close.
I think it is safe to say that none of us want to appear to be stupid. BUT, there are things we do that have a tendency to make us appear less intelligent. The last thing you want is for people to think … you’re silly, trivial, unintelligent, or worse yet, mindless. So, if you want to APPEAR SMART, may I strongly suggest you don’t do any of the following.
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October 13, 2018
by Robert Stevenson